DadsCenter.org Blog

More building

It occurred to me this morning that I left off a couple of projects.  I’m going to put in a slanted roof the height of the fence on one side of the house where the kids can park their bikes and we no longer have to hang them in the garage.  It makes it hard to navigate the garage with nine bikes either hanging or down so they can be ridden.

And then I need to build another work bench or two for the garage.   As you might recall, a month or so ago we rearranged in their to get more space.  Well, that’s had a nominal affect, and now I need a work bench, or two.

And I have a few more picket fences to build, these will be short ones.

I’ve also toyed with the idea of getting some bricks and mortar and building a C shaped wall to surround the grill to keep it from being blown into the pool or blown over during thunderstorms.

And then there is work inside.  Eventually, I’m going to tackle adding laminate floors to the upstairs.  And I want to do some chair railing in the nook, and then the ultimate: crown molding.

Pool Season Prep Continues

Got a lot of work done after dinner tonight.  Kari has been helping me cap off the last touches before we get ready to paint and stain the backyard configuration I’ve been building during the past month.  This all is really shaping up to be a wonderful project and I’m getting excited about seeing it to completion.  I know there are several more things I want to do to the pergola and remaining fencing before I will be settled.  I also want to build a couple more planters for the back.

The morning glories and other plants we started in the garage are coming along splendidly.  It’s almost time for planting.

Right now I’m on the back porch with my best of the best dogs, Molly.  It’s 9 p.m. and the water pump on the well is running and filling the backyard with a wonderful sound.  The wind is calm tonight so no chimes.  Molly is so good about sitting/laying here at my side and guarding me.  She stays between me and the gate.  Isn’t that a hoot?  I’d hate to be the poor fool who ever might decide to come through our gate unannounced.

I figure I need about six additional boards for the top of the pergola and about 21 more of the slate boards I’ve been using for the picket fencing.  I also still need to fix the doggie door arches, and add a board there, too.

After we get that done, it’s on to getting the wood work creation painted, and then I need to begin some work inside.  I want to do some accent painting and make some other positive improvements inside.

It looks like my dad will be here in a week or so, so I’m trying to get as much done before he gets here, too.  Not that it will largely impress him, but I will know what I’ve done.  He didn’t say much when I told him Kari and I had built this wonderful patio cover I’m sitting under.  So I’m not expecting much of a reaction to the bench work and pergola.  It’s funny, when he was here in October of 2006, he insisted on hiring someone from Home Depot to put up our $99 storm door at the front of the house.  I’ve since put one on the back door, added a patio cover, fencing, etc….

I just wish my Mom’s dad was still around to be able to see all this.  He would be pleased.   And he would take a seat each morning out on the bench work and watch the sun come up in the east and think of something profound to write on the wood.

Cleaning Sunday

We began the day off with a simple exercise of Kari going to get groceries.  She said later that as we paused at the top of the stairs in the game room, she could see the wheels turning.  Well, the boys and I initiated a revision to the game room.  It’s more quaint now.  And we moved the computer that was in the den up to the game room.  Now, maybe I can actually watch the HDTV flat screen over the fireplace again without having to change it from Sponge Bob.  The worst show ever developed, and most watched ever by kids.

The Cubs are on WGN, losing to the Nationals by two in the fourth.  They were in Colorado while I was in Chicago.  Apparently, I was not the only one at EWA who had checked.

Okay, got to get back to work. More cleaning to do.  Feels like Saturday.  Wish it was.

Sunday Morning, Cold In Dallas

I was one of the few people in Chicago wearing shorts yesterday morning as I left my hotel.  One man told me as I was sitting in the lobby waiting for the Airport Express shuttle that he hoped I was “going somewhere South.”  It was 40 degrees in the Windy City.  And as I awoke this morning, at home, well, it’s 44 here now and just as windy as Chicago.   No shorts today.

Kari sent out an email to several family members on Thursday that I’m going to share in this space.  She has a login and I’ve been trying to get her to post things on the blog, but I remain hopeful she will.

Donny is such an amazing artist.  Beautiful paintings of his are hanging up all around the house, and I enjoy every last one of them.  He’s also created some incredible sketches and watercolors.  Over the last year, Donny has started dabbling in woodworking.

The backyard is almost completed.  It still needs paint and some more fence to hide the shed in back, but it won’t be long til I send you pictures of our completed backyard retreat!  Here are some pictures of Donny’s yard art in progress…

Here are the photos she speaks of in the email.  I was hoping I could get out there and do more today, but alas, did I mention it’s 44 degrees?  I can’t get sick again.  Next weekend I’m off to DC.  And I’m still not over the double middle ear, sinus infection.  Argh.   It’s been eight days now.

Sunday Evening, Marking progress

It’s been a good weekend. We’ve gotten much done on the wood bench/fence/pergola project at the back of the yard. Installed the first of four arches today as the focal point in the back. Very smooth and enjoyable to continue to see this project progress as I make it up. I decided against making a couple of planters in the serpentine seating that wraps around the concrete area of the pool in the deep end. I figured we’d do better with more seating than that sort of decorative appeal. I can always build stand-alone planters later.

Been a good week with the girls, though they’ve been calling their mother repeatedly and not getting much in return. It seems like every couple of hours today and yesterday they asked to call her. All three of them.

Need to pack for trip tomorrow to NOLA. Going to be a wild week.

Friday thoughts

As a father with seven children, it would be pure baloney to suggest to you that life is easy. Even without seven kids, it’s not. Take my three this week, gone to their mother’s next week, and then my wife’s four children, trying blend them with my three, balance having seven this week, and four the next, well, you have a recipe for “egg roll.” Or something, and I can honestly write, we haven’t figured out what that is.

I’m so thankful to find resources like the Blended Families Web site listed below. I had the chance to listen to about 30 minutes of a conference call yesterday with the author of the book about Divorce Poison. Thanks Emily for your work to set something like that up. I certainly hope there are more opportunities with your organization, and to hopefully get The Dads Center some day into something similar that’s a positive help for dads.

Right now I have to admit I’m struggling as a parent. I’m trying to find the proper balance between work and home. I’m trying to find the proper balance in how I relate to my three girls and my wife’s four kids. I’m trying to find the right balance in time with my wife, work, the kids, the dog, and a host of a thousand other issues that sprout all around because of the aforementioned. The long and the short, it’s not easy and maybe I don’t ever find the balance. Maybe I’m searching for something that doesn’t really exist. At this moment, I just don’t know.

I do know that for the first time in at least a decade I have a job that is what I want it to be. There is certainly an opportunity in my work to make a difference. Hallelujah. There is travel involved, and I’m working with a great company, great boss, and the projects are fun, stimulating and helping me grow as a person. Can’t ask for more than that.

But like almost always in life, when it seems that one thing seems to be going swell, others seem to tilt so as to knock the pendulum; as though one of the kids would do if the house were quiet for 10 seconds. I don’t know if that’s God’s hand, the Devil’s, (certainly isn’t how I want it), or just how life is. I don’t know, but I wish it could be different; that all aspects of one’s life could be, remain, etc. in some reasonable balance of comfort.

And so it goes. I love my Lord. I love my wife. I love my kids, (all seven) just the same, even though each group would say it’s different. It’s not. And I love my job. So how do you partition out time blocks for each in a 24/7 period? There just isn’t enough time to space it all out evenly. Work and it’s requirements certainly doesn’t permit a rigorous 8-5 you are working, and then you are off. “Go home, forget about this place.” That’s just not me either.

My wonderful, wonderful wife doesn’t work that way.I can only imagine her says, “Okay, when you leave here, you’re at work and not involved in what’s happening at home, with kids at school, with kids going to this and to that. When you’re at work, just forget about what’s happening here. I’ve got it.” That’s just not me either.

My kids don’t work that way. “Can you teach me how to play chess? Can you let me call a friend? Can you take me to guitar practice? To gymnastics? Can you get my bike down? When you’re at work or talking to mom, or eating your dinner, or dealing with an issue from work at home, don’t worry about me. Just forget I’m here.” That’s just not me either.

I think you get the scenario. I’m never unplugged from any one area completely, but they each crowd in saying feed me, feed me, and therein lies the challenge. If you say I’ll deal with that when I get to it in my list of the 20 other things I’m multi-tasking, you sound uncaring. Unfocused on “what’s important.” And yet they all are important. If the job, wife, kids and church weren’t important, they wouldn’t be part of my life. They wouldn’t be in my life.

And yet each component feeds off of the other. Work supports the wife. It supports the kids, having a house, a car, the pool in the backyard, money for gymnastics, guitar lessons, clothes, skate boards, bikes, food for the dinner table. It’s all inter-connected.

And so the juggling act continues. And it would be the same were there one child or all seven. It’s the same for almost all working dads. Yes, our dear wives who are home with the kids have it hard, too. I’d never say they didn’t. NEVER. But this is a daily challenge for working dads. And one I’m not sure there is an answer for, other than to tell your wife at the end of the day, I love you, and mean it…

Happy Friday.

Struggling with the demands of the day

I’m struggling hard with the balance between work and home again.  April, as I’ve noted a dozen times below, is a crazy month with events literally all over the country and the need, desire and hope to be at home to spend time with the wife and kids as much as humanly possible.  These are not easy days this month.  Finally finished a video project I’ve been working on for weeks now.  It’s off to be duplicated, FINALLY.  And yet every waking moment to take care of my job is a waking moment to also provide for my family.  Every waking moment.

Monday, Monday

Lots to do this week.  Prep for NOLA next week, Chicago the following, DC the next.

Accomplished much in the backyard this weekend.  Cool project well underway.  Really exciting and beautiful weekend.  Hopefully we can sustain the enthusiasm going into the week.

Friday highlights and plans for the weekend

I bought some new blades for the jigsaw last night and what a difference they made. I’m in the process of building some cool arches, gateways, fencing and benches at the deep end of the pool area in the yard. It’s part of my neverending quest to make Kari’s Paradise, just that.

Giving my bride the night off

Kari’s getting a break tonight and has gotten out with friends. Glad to let her be the one to be out for a change. The kids now are in bed and I’m free to do a little work on the accounts. So much to do and April is going to be wide open. Enjoy the time out tonight, honey, I love you.