DadsCenter.org Blog

I hate to be right–EXHAUSTED girls come home to Daddy

Well, the girls came home last night. The oldest, 11, went to bed on her own without dinner. She went to bed at 5 p.m. and got up this morning at 6:30 a.m. That’s 13.5 hours of sleep she got. Did I mention she didn’t even want to eat dinner? Just wanted to go to sleep.

My second oldest daughter, 8, ate dinner and then went upstairs to watch TV in her room. She went to sleep in her blanket, in the floor, still wearing her clothes. It was 5:45 p.m. when she clocked out. At 6:45 this morning, she got up. She was out for 13 hours.

The third daughter, also 8, ate dinner then had some good daddy/daughter time, and went to bed at 8:15 p.m., which as you know, probably still feels like 7:15 p.m. what with the time change. She got up at 6:45 a.m. as well, meaning she slept for 10.75 hours.

If you read below, you shall see my prediction that the girls would come home so tired they wouldn’t know what to do. Well, they figured out one thing on their own–going to bed to catch up on sleep. EXHAUSTED.

If for no other reason, it’s good they have the chance to come to my house every other week, just to get some rest. But there are plenty of other reasons why it’s good. Keep reading, I’m sure there are more to come.

Apparently There was School on Friday–Actually, There Was

Most of North Texas awoke Friday morning to the delight of an inch or two of freshly fallen snow. It was beautiful. It was also fairly warm for snow fall, and was up in the mid-30s by 10 a.m. As a matter of fact, the road conditions had improved to the point of where the TV stations quit their ratings madness of “Winter Storm” etc. and had resumed to normal programming by 9 a.m.

By the time we all headed into the office by about 9:30 a.m. the normal drive to the office down 635 took the normal 30 minutes. No ice. No wrecks. No traffic jams. No nothing.

Were the girls driven their 30 minute ride into school so they could get even just a half of day of learning?

By asking the question, I’m almost certain one could guess. When I inquired, here’s the answer I got:

“Apparently you weren’t watching the reports Friday am. Apparently you would want me to risk putting the girls on un sanded roads.”

I’m only guessing that apparently, my ex wasn’t watching the reports Friday a.m. either, because like I said, by 930 a.m. they were all gone. Just like the snow. Just like any ice that had been a problem in the morning hours. Just like the common sensical understanding that the girls needed to be in school.

Apparently school was in on Friday, but my ex apparently didn’t want to take them to there. Apparently, that’s what’s apparent, or what makes of an irresponsible one.

Time Change, who cares about when kids go to bed

Serenity prayer time.

Last night the clocks sprang forward an hour. At 738 p.m. the equivalent of 838 p.m. tonight, one of the girls called to say they were going bowling. (We’ll skip the whole conversation that should be held about whether or not an eight-year-old should be at a bowling alley at 8 p.m. on a Saturday DST or CST aside) and just focus on the rest that children need.

From Wikipedia, “A nine-year-old should sleep about 9-10 hours per day and teenagers need almost that much sleep. Adults who sleep less than about 8 hours a day perform worse than those who sleep that long. [1][2]” (http://simple.wikipedia.org/wiki/Sleep)

They also need to stay on a schedule. Can’t tell you how many times the “ex” proclaimed such in the hell-years we were married.

So, the girls are with Disneyland Mom. Tomorrow they come back home to their dad, who actually keeps them on a schedule. Tomorrow they will come back so tired at dinner time they’ll hardly stay awake. Tomorrow we can put them to bed at the new 8 p.m. which actually will be the 7 p.m. their bodies are accustomed to, and voila, they’ll go to sleep, so tired because they’ve not been getting the proper rest they desperately needed this weekend.

Such is the case time and again when they come back home from a week with their mother. Time change? Who cares about when the kids go to bed?

Dad does.

Getting my life in order

I think for the first time in a VERY LONG time, I feel like life is coming together. A very long time.

Sure, there still are constant challenges; my exes widlcard escapades, the new demands of a new job, seven kids, etc. But I really have a new calm that’s come over my life.

Maybe it won’t last, but I’m feeling pretty good about the life I’m living nowadays. The drama and drive of the past year really have died down. Sure there are going to be new stresses, but things are going well.

A “Good Divorce”

I have endeavored long and hard since filing for divorce in 2003 to provide as stable an environment as possible for my girls.  Working the crazy job I have had at the Dallas school district has not made that proposition easy, but somehow I managed.  Recently I was reading a newspaper column that used the term “good divorce.”  I think the way they saw the term was that the relationship between the adults could some how be amicable afterward, you know, say Mike and Carol Brady finally gave up and stayed as friendly talking to each other as they did as they sat in their beds so calmly rested before going to bed after having raised six kids all day long.

Sounds good on paper, but invariably, by their definition, we’ve not had a good divorce.  It was the wisest of moves on my part of file when and how I did.  That is a move I shall never regret, and perhaps, though we shall never know, a move that added years back on to the end of my life.

And then thankfully, the good Lord in his wisdom brought me a new life and new family.  Yes, there are more kids and new kinds of stresses, but life is better, even when the Ex throws a ticking problem over the fence for us to deal with.  Good divorce?  Maybe in TV Land.